Being male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. Being a gentleman is a matter of choice.
Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is a code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood which developed between 1170 and 1220. Chivalry is a gorgeous thing ♥ I am a modern day …
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No one is born a gentleman. It’s a choice that...
Rules Of A Gentleman Gentleman’s Essentials
A British gentleman interchanged with an English gentleman is a term that describes a polished gentleman from the United Kingdom with impeccable politeness.
Gentleman Gentleman’s Essentials
I have always been of the mind that in a democracy manners are the only effective weapons against the bowie-knife. James Russell Lowell We can find countless articles online praising and criticizing the most evident acts of Chivalry a Gentleman can do towards a lady; holding doors open, opening car doors, and pulling chairs. Those that comment against them, usually do so out of either a lack of manners or simply not understanding why these acts are done. I can’t really blame their ignorance on the topic, because they are not really interested in it. What really surprises me is the lack of understanding by those who profess being Gentlemen. That is why so many of those “Is Chivalry dead” debates end up with the Gentleman thrashed by their counterpart. If you don’t understand what you are doing and more importantly WHY you are doing it, your actions become simply a pantomime, and imitation, that ends up looking awkward. This is especially true if we don’t have a sense of empathy towards the person in the receiving end of the action. Keep in mind that manners are nothing more than a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. With that in mind, let’s break down the practicality of some of the more typical actions that can be expected from a Gentleman. Opening a door for a Lady Let me start by clarifying, this has nothing to do with a Gentleman thinking women can’t open their own doors. It came from two specific traditions, the overelaborate clothing women used to wear and the role of the Gentleman as a Bodyguard. First off, a woman’s skirt was so wide, they couldn’t even reach the door handle. That is no longer the case, so we don’t need to take this into account any longer. The second is the role of the Bodyguard, of creating a safe environment for women. This is something that still needs to be maintained and even promoted. A gentleman will open a door first, making sure that the room is safe for her to enter. As she enters, he is able to scan the surroundings to make sure that the area is safe. As he enters after her, the lady is kept from having her back to the door. You might think this seems somewhat paranoid and overly cautious. Just take a few minutes viewing some of the stories of what the ladies have to deal with in a daily basis, and then tell me I am being overly cautious. Walking a Lady to her door. Again, as with opening doors, this is all about providing a safe environment for the Lady. Just refer to “Opening a door for a Lady” for a better explanation. Pulling chairs Again, a lady can sit down without assistance. This tradition again came from the elaborate dresses of old. But can we really get rid of it? This actually depends on how the Lady is dressed. If she is wearing anything other than a skirt, yes. But if she is wearing a skirt, the lady will probably try to fold it under her legs so it sets properly as she sits down. Now, how is she going to be able to do this AND pull the chair at once? Gentlemen, doesn’t take much to be decent. Paying I am tired of clearing this up. Who makes the invite, pays. It’s that simple. It’s not about showing off, or thinking she needs your money, or whatever other nonsense people will say about the topic. You invited them, means you are picking up the check. What is so complicated? Helping a lady into and out of a Car Take a minute and look at your car. Imagine trying to get into it or out of it with a short skirt and heels. Now imagine doing it gracefully. If you drive a low profile sports car or a high truck or SUV, the difficulty level this is even higher. Gentlemen, this is just simple act of consideration towards the Lady. This is also the reason why you should help a lady when she is walking up and down stairs. Try doing it with 3”+ heels. Offering a Lady your Jacket Again, let’s look at women’s fashion when compared to men’s clothing. We typically dress in layers; from the undershirt (optional), the shirt, a vest (optional), and a Jacket. A lady will probably be wearing a lot less. If the weather is somewhat cold, please don’t offer her your jacket. Simply take it off and place it over her shoulders. If you offer, she might probably get self-conscious and refuse, even if she is freezing. Offering a Lady your seat. This one, I really can’t believe I have to explain, but here goes. First off, have you taken a look at women’s footwear? It’s a simple act. It’s not like you don’t need the exercise. I know that most of the comments are based on how the lady is dressed, and you can simply say it’s her problem, that she chose to dress that way. You might think that it was her choice to wear heals, or a strapless dress, or short skirt. Yes, it was her decision. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be considerate. Guys, none of this is obligatory. Nobody is forcing you. If anything, this has become so rare, it’s no longer even expected from you. Just don’t complain that some of us are not as selfish and self-centered.
There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit. -Napoleon Bonaparte- I remember as a boy seeing my grandfather always wearing a medallion of St. George around his neck. When I asked about it, he proceeded to tell me how Georgius, a Roman Soldier, saved Emperor Diocletian’s young wife Alexandra from a Dragon; and for that he became a Saint. Maybe he noticed my confused face, or realized just how strange it must have sounded when he told the story out loud. He became a Saint because he killed a dragon? But dragons aren’t real. He smiled, as he did every time he would hit me with some great wisdom. Dragons are real. We all have them inside our hearts. It’s our job to defeat our own dragon. That’s why I have this medallion so close to my heart, to help me fight my dragon. At the time I didn’t really understand the depth of the comment. It was later, as I grew older, that it began to make sense. All men are capable of great things and all men are capable of horrible things. The monsters of legends are not vile creatures made up of nightmares, but men who have gone down a less than noble path. We see men wanting to be the hero of their stories, justifying their actions with noble excuses. Yet when you look at their real intentions, there is little more than arrogance, greed, or pettiness. Others think they deserve applause and adulations simply because they did a good act. You can tell who these men are based on their everyday actions. These are the men who use manners to “impress” women, and get offended when it’s not recognized. They are the men who act “morally” expecting some kind of reward at the end of their lives. I am sorry, but if your intentions are not noble, neither are your action. Being a Gentleman is about discipline, about self-control. It’s about doing actions because it’s the right thing to do. It’s about being a better man, for no other reason than just being a better man. It’s about defeating your Dragon.
Creating a business style requires a lot of effort to look elegant. Not all men can even find their own style. Here are some tips on how to achieve the perfect business look.
Take a closer look at Jeeves' wardrobe and derive a number of style ideas; see the contrast between him and Wooster.
