“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”The dog said, “That's a long time to be bar.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A little girl says to her mother: “Mummy, when you were away at work a […]
A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband: Honey if I […] More
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.Both appear to be blind.The pilot is using a white cane, b.. #funny, #joke, #humor
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them...
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems like she’s doing fine,...
Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second brother married...
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.He awoke before the Pearly Gates.St #funny, #joke, #humor
The devil decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re happy. They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we’re from, and this place is nice and toasty.” The devil, annoyed, storms away and goes to...
A son took his old father to a restaurant for an evening dinner. Father being very old and weak, while eating, dropped food on his shirt and trousers. Other diners watched him in disgust while his son was calm. After he finished eating, his son who was not at all embarrassed, quietly...
Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, “You think your assistant is dumb, watch this.” And the man calls over the blond and says...
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people words!” She...
101 fun questions to ask kids to know them better! Great conversation starters to bond with your kids over dinner or a long car ride.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why...
A man is flying on a very expensive airline in first class when the sudden urge to relieve himself overwhelms him. He runs to the...
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again,
Though the walls of our apartment complex aren’t particularly thin, the floors and ceilings act as amplifiers. One night, several months ago, my wife and I were lying in bed. Noticing the...
Can we figure it out?
A Father Asked His 10 Year Old Son Johnny. – A father asked his 10 year old son little
A little boy was at the supermarket checkout with a huge box of detergent. The checkout girl, trying to be friendly, asked him he had a lot of laundry to do. “Not...
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell me your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on...
Mona Reston was on trial for the murder of her third hus-band. The district attorney asked her, “What happened to your first husband?” “He died of mushroom poisoning,” said Mrs. Reston. “How...
Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go […]
Mona Reston was on trial for the murder of her third hus-band. The district attorney asked her, “What happened to your first husband?” “He died of mushroom poisoning,” said Mrs. Reston. “How...
Old lady: “Doctor, I have this terrible problem. I fart frequently but my farts are silent and do not stink at all. As a matter of fact, while we were talking, I...
1st woman: Hi! My name is Sherry. 2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After...
love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" "Well," the woman says, "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favourite band of all time. When
A Jewish girl tells her Catholic college roommate that she’s going home for Roshashanna. “Oh,” the Catholic girl says. “That’s the...
Lovely couple, but Carl had this one bad habit that had always disgusted Suzanne. Every morning, before getting out of bed, Carl would let out this thunderous, paint peeling fart. Poor Suzanne would just cringe. Over the years she had complained at Carl, ” You know Carl! One of these days...
Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left? A: 499 Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge? A: Open door, put elephant in, close door. Q: What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge? A: Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe...
Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor. The Doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure...
A brunette was walking down the middle of the street, saying “34…34…34” over and over again. A blonde stopped her and asked why she was doing that. “Oh, it’s great fun,” replied...
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand. He says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge...
A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome? Why would anyone want...
Nasreddin Hodja had a buffalo whose horns were set wide apart. Hodja often felt an […]
While she's not exactly a person, these funny Alexa questions will at least keep you entertained!
He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look. One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: “What...
The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.She writes:Dear Granddaughter, #funny, #joke, #humor