What do you do when your strong-willed child won't obey?
Realizing you have a strong willed child can feel like a blessing and a curse. Raise a strong willed child right and they will become a thriving adult.
Parenting a strong-willed child is not for the faint of heart. We have 10 effective tips on parenting a strong-willed child that will help create a harmonious home.
Strategies that help parents figure out how to discipline a strong-willed child, plus, Ideas for avoiding power struggles.
Strong-willed child? Say this!
Strategies that help parents figure out how to discipline a strong-willed child, plus, Ideas for avoiding power struggles.
Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
Parenting a strong willed toddler has given me a new definition for endurance and perseverance! At first, I thought "strong willed" just meant disobedient. That's not true, because strong willed kids can learn to obey and they still deeply desire to please. However, they are opinionated and stubborn, and sometimes need to be approached a
Parenting the strong-willed child is not for the faint of heart. Learning what these spirited kids really need from you makes it easier to honor their unique temperament. I realized I was dealing with a very strong-willed child when my youngest daughter was still a baby. She had a push to her that my other...
Parenting a strong-willed child is not for the faint of heart. We have 10 effective tips on parenting a strong-willed child that will help create a harmonious home.
6 tips to help you have patience with a strong-willed child. These 6 tips can help you be a more patient parent, which will help your child behave better.
Here you will find out research-backed strategies for parenting a strong-willed child that promote cooperation without breaking their spirit.
Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
Do you secretly think parenting is hard? If so, don't fret. This post shares with you why this idea isn't the worst thing in the world.
Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
This post is about parenting a strong-willed child. It includes a description of strong-willed children and strategies for parents.
Here you will find out research-backed strategies for parenting a strong-willed child that promote cooperation without breaking their spirit.
“I love the practical strategies and valuable insights from the hearts and lives of strong-willed kids.… You’ll defi nitely want to make this book part of your parenting library.” —Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times best-selling author of Have a New Kid by Friday Turn Conflict into Cooperation Many parents suspect their strong-willed child is deliberately trying to drive them crazy. Difficult to discipline and seemingly impossible to motivate, these children present unique, exhausting, and often-frustrating challenges to the those who love them. But strong will is not a negative trait. These same children have firm convictions, high spirits, a sense of adventure—all the makings of a great adult. In this book you’ll discover how to channel that passion and determination in positive ways as you build a healthy relationship. Through insights gained from strong-willed people of all ages, you’ll… · better understand how their minds really work. · discover positive ways to motivate your strong-willed child. · learn how to share control without compromising parental authority. · apply key tactics to survive a meltdown. · get practical tips for parents who disagree, blended families, and single parents. Packed with immediately useful strategies to drastically reduce the level of tension in the home (or in the classroom), You Can’t Make Me shows how you can start today to build a stronger, more positive relationship with your strong-willed child. Includes… · Top Ten Tips for Bringing Out the Best in a Strong-Willed Child of Any Age · A Strong-Willed Child Emergency Kit Product DetailsISBN-13: 9781578565658 Media Type: Paperback(Revised) Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group Publication Date: 09-18-2012 Pages: 192 Product Dimensions: 5.34(w) x 7.78(h) x 0.54(d)About the Author Cynthia Tobias received her master’s degree from Seattle Pacifi c University. Her successful background includes twenty-five years of private practice, eight years of teaching high school, and six years in law enforcement. The best-selling author of eight books, she is the busy mother of twin college-age sons. Cynthia and her husband live in the Seattle area.Read an Excerpt Read an Excerpt Introduction to the Revised Edition Here’s How I Know It Works! My very own strong-willed child, Mike, came bursting through the door with his usual force and energy. He was fresh from yet another week of being a counselor at a summer YMCA camp. I marveled at how quickly the years have passed and here he was—twenty years old and about to enter his junior year in college. Could it possibly be? “Mom, I have to tell you something.” I’ve learned to appreciate every opportunity to talk about his life, so I stopped what I was doing and listened. “The camp kids were driving me crazy. I was so frustrated, I was ready to scream.” He paused and put his finger in the air to make a pronouncement. “So, I decided I’d better read one of your books.” I raised my eyebrows. “Which book did you read, Mike?” He shrugged and grinned. “You Can’t Make Me.” Before I could react he rushed on. “And you know what? It works!" I wasn’t prepared for this. Was this my strong-willed child, who appears in every chapter of the book, telling me he was now using it to understand the kids he was counseling at camp? For the next twenty minutes Mike regaled me with examples he had read in the book, emphasizing the strategies he had used successfully with his campers. We reminisced over stories from the book that he remembered and laughed about the ones he had forgotten or was too young to recall. Since the first edition of You Can’t Make Me! (But I Can Be Persuaded) came out in 1999, literally thousands of parents and educators have taken the time to actually write or personally deliver overwhelmingly positive and grateful responses to the powerful and effective strategies in the book. I’ve been humbled and encouraged to see the hope in their eyes and hear the joy in their voices. But I have to tell you, by far the most meaningful endorsement I could ask for is the one from Mike. After twenty years of living with and loving my strong-willed child, after the prayers and tears, trial and error, perseverance and frustration, failure and success, he is reading and endorsing the book that describes him as the quintessential strong-willed kid. So as you read this revised and updated version of You Can’t Make Me, believe me when I say I’m still in the trenches with you. I’ve parented a great strong-willed child and his equally wonderful but more compliant twin brother. I will never be able to make the claim I did everything right. Far from it! I am eternally grateful that God has been gracious in supplementing my well-intentioned and often inadequate efforts with His grace, love, and wisdom. My fervent prayer is that you will benefit from the wisdom and advice of the many strong-willed children and their parents you are about to meet in this book. Most of all, no matter how things turn out, I pray you will be glad you never gave up on the relationship with your strong-willed child. You’ll never be able to truly measure the difference it will make. Show More Table of Contents Table of Contents Introduction to the Revised Edition: Here's Howl Know It Works! 1 Part I Defining the Strong-Willed Child 1 "Who Qualifies as a Strong-Willed Child?: How Can You Be Sure It's Not Just Stubbornness? 7 2 Howls the Strong-Willed Child Wired?: Do You Know What We're Thinking? 23 Part II How to Bring Out the Best in a Strong-Willed Child 3 How Can I Turn Conflict into Cooperation?: Five Proven Strategies to Help You Both Thrive 41 4 What About the Line Between Right and Wrong?: How to Keep the SWC Accountable While Still Valuing Uniqueness 69 5 So What's the Big Deal About School?: Great Infirmationfir Helping an SWC Succeed in School 83 6 How Can I Help a Strong-Willed Child Find the Right Career?: Guiding SWCs Toward Using Their Strengths in the Future 103 Part III How to Bring Out the Best in Tough Situations 7 How Can I Survive a Meltdown?: A Strong-Willed Child Emergency Kit 119 8 How Do I Keep My Strong-Willed Child from Pulling Our Family Apart?: Strategies fir Parents Who Disagree, Blended Families, and Single Parents 127 9 When Should I Do Something Drastic?: Recognizing Signs of Serious Trouble 141 10 Is It Too Late to Restore a Relationship with My Strong-Willed Child?: Insights fir Reaching an SWC Who Doesn't Want to Be Reached 153 Epilogue: Start Right Where You Are 169 Top Ten Tips for Bringing Out the Best in an SWC of Any Age 171 A LastWord 173 Acknowledgments 174 Notes 175 Recommended Resources 176 Show More
Want to be patient - MORE patient? Here are 13 tricks to embrace when your patience is seriously wearing thin.
Parenting the strong-willed child is not for the faint of heart. Learning what these spirited kids really need from you makes it easier to honor their unique temperament. I realized I was dealing with a very strong-willed child when my youngest daughter was still a baby. She had a push to her that my other...
Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
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Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
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Parenting a strong willed child How do I know if my child is strong willed? 8 must read tips on how to parent a strong willed child... Have you ever looked at other kids and wondered why they look so much "easier" to parent than your child!? Why does my child so stubbornly
Parents of strong willed children, I really sympathize with you. I, too, have a strong willed child and some days I just want to give up and throw in the towel and let him just run the house and then there are other days when I'm ready to spar with him until he gives in because we're both stubborn and want to be the one who wins. Our battles can be over anything, really. We might argue over whether this font color is blue, green, or gray or argue over whether tomato is pronounced tuh-mate-o or toe-mah-toe and EVEN IF, we realize one of us is wrong, it will take a long time for us to admit it, if we do at all. It has been frustrating in the past and even though being strong willed is something that we can both work on together to change the world from weird to good, it is still a lot of work. A strong willed child can accomplish just about anything they set their minds to, so it's important, as parents, to nurture that will instead of squashing it down. I've been watching a lot of Vampire Diaries, so this is the first example that comes to my mind, but if you watch this show, Damon Salvatore appears to be the evil character in the first part of the show. Once he sets his mind to something, he does it. When you see his back story, you see that he's had a lot of bad things happen to him and so he seeks revenge. However, you also see that when things are going well and he's been nurtured and cared for, he'd do just about anything to help his best friends. Strong Willed Child I empathize with the strong willed child. I was the strong willed child in my family. I used to hear all of the time, "Someday, you'll have a child who will grow up to be just like you or worse!" and that day has come true, I have a strong willed child. There is a mini-me in my house who likes to test my patience, who sees how far he can push to get what he wants, who thinks that he can make the rules. My mini-me and I butt heads often. Have you ever tried to patiently handle a strong willed child when you too, are strong willed? It's hard! We used to really work on his behavior at home and at school. We had to meet with his social worker and come up with a behavior plan so we could be on the same page. Thankfully, there were resources that he could use to help him with his social behavior. Example: Whenever my son would start to get loud, (because we're passionate people) instead of calling him out in front of the classroom and embarrassing him (we strong willed people can be sensitive to being told to do something in front of others) the teacher would raise two fingers up as an agreed sign that he needed to lower his voice. If he was called out, a tantrum would be made. Related- Raising Our Children: Accountability Between the Parents and School The 7 Stages of a Strong Willed Child Thankfully, there are ways to work around that tantrum, and the biggest part of doing that is knowing the routine, how your child feels, and why they react that way. When you're a strong willed child, you get angry that a parent or teacher would have the audacity to think about disciplining you. You go through the same stages as one would do with grief: Disbelief- First, you can't believe it, you deny that anything happens. (After all, we're always right.) This will get your strong willed child in more trouble when you are on your last stretch of patience. They'll start saying, "I didn't do anything wrong! What did I do?" Denial- "I don't belong in time out (or whatever discipline is being given to them.) I didn't do it. It was "...'s" fault. Bargaining- They think that they can control the outcome of the situation. I'm sure this is the part where my mom would want to shake me or pictured me getting slapped silly. I would tell my mom, "This isn't how my teacher does it. You're doing it wrong. I think I should sit in a chair. I am only doing this for a minute. Fine, I'll do this, but I'm going to do it this way..." You get the point. Anger- This is where I would start name calling and be outraged that my mother didn't cave in, yet. It is SO important that parent's don't give in. Once you do, your child will know that they own you. It won't get better until you are consistent again. Grief- Your child will probably start to cry. They know that you are going to hold your ground and that they will need to face that time out or that other discipline. Acceptance- This is when your child has accepted the fact that they will need to do time out or whatever punishment that is given to them. I usually will set a timer for my child and tell him that he knows what he needs to do. I hand him the timer to start it. Every time that he talks, I will push the stop button and it is up to him to restart it. He knows that he will need to be quiet again in order for it to start again. Guilt- I would realize that while I was serving my time out or spending time in my room alone, that I was wrong. For my children, in order for them to get out of time out, they have to say they are sorry and ask for forgiveness in order to get out. Saying sorry, is sometimes the hardest part of the punishment. Sometimes, this is when the bargaining comes back out. With a strong willed child, the process might start over again because this is the time that I might start getting mouthy again. How Do You Work Around It? 1. Learn What Triggers Your Child- Why is your child behaving that way? Are they tired? Did you misunderstand them? Is their sock falling inside their shoe? Identify the trigger and then see what you can do to help. It could be as simple as relaxing, asking them to explain what they meant, or going barefoot. 2. Listen to Yourself- Sometimes we don't realize how we sound. If you're tired, you can sound like you're disinterested or mad. Adjust your tone and body language to something more cheery. You know how you feel when you see Beatrice's Resting*insertnaughtyword*face. If she looked cross-eyed at you, wouldn't you feel a little defensive, too? 3. Come Up With A Discipline Plan Together- Tell your child what your expectations are. Let them know that they're still growing and learning and there will be times when they might get in trouble and it might result in taking away electronics or sitting in a time-out. Let them come up with that plan. I had a friend who said that her dad sat her and her brothers down and together they wrote a contract and they each had to sign it. They knew that if they hit a sibling, it wouldn't be tolerated and so as per the agreement, they would do a time out or something from the list that they agreed upon depending on the crime. 4. Reassess the Situation- Is it really as bad as you first thought? Are you being too sensitive? My kids are at the age when they try to make their own jokes and we've got some pretty sarcastic/dry sense of humor people in our family, so our kids try to model that. Sometimes, my son will tell me a joke or flat out lie about something thinking that he's just being funny and I don't realize that right away. I'll get mad and then once my husband chimes in saying that it was a joke, I'll realize that too. Then I have to apologize and then teach my child a different way to deliver his punchline. 5. Ask Them Questions- Use If/Then questions so they feel like they have a little control over the situation. Example: If you hit your brother, then you will get a time out. Is that something you'd like to do? If you yell at your friend, then they might not want to be friends with you anymore. Do you want that to happen? Are you sure that you want to throw things because you're mad? You might break something valuable to you and you'll have to clean up the mess later. You can also use them to reinforce good behavior. Example: If you do your homework now, then you will have more time to watch tv later. If you eat your vegetables, then you can have dessert. Doing this sets up expectations, but it also gets them in habit of thinking for themselves and by doing this, they also gain a little bit of control, and that's what strong willed people really want. 6. Give Them Some Breathing Room Sometimes, we just want our space. Give us time to stew and eventually we'll come to the realization that maybe we were being a little ornery. Maybe we'll apologize, maybe we won't, but don't make us do it because we'll chew your head off. Conclusion Being strong willed can be such a good thing. We can get things done that others can't. You'll find many of us as leaders or motivational speakers because we don't take no for an answer. There can also be a downside to being strong willed, too. We can seem harsh or out of control. If we don't learn how to properly handle our anger or stubbornness, we can put a strain on the relationships around us. This is why it's SOOO important to not give in to your child's every whim. Learn how to redirect them and use it for good so our future isn't run by babies. Do you have a strong willed child? Are you, yourself strong willed? What advice would you give to parents? Have a great day and please share if you found value in this post!
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Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
Want to be patient - MORE patient? Here are 13 tricks to embrace when your patience is seriously wearing thin.
Strong willed children are wonderful--they're just often misunderstood. Find out the one thing they need the most, and how it could change your parenting strategy forever.
Want to be patient - MORE patient? Here are 13 tricks to embrace when your patience is seriously wearing thin.
