From the pink fairy to the screaming hairy, armadillos are a most peculiar mammal.
In the deserts of Argentina dwells the remarkable pink fairy armadillo (Chlamyphorus truncatus), a 5-inch-long, quarter-pound critter with a rosy shell atop silky white hair. This smallest of all armadillos spends almost its entire life burrowing through the earth, hunting various invertebrates and chewing up plant matter. It is a rarely seen, almost totally unstudied marvel -- what you read here is pretty much all we’ve observed about the pink fairy armadillo.
Sometimes, we find really messed up things kind of adorable. Here are some hauntingly cuddly things that will make you question whether you're a really bad human being, or just really accepting 1) Bat Embryos Yeah, we know, that sounds gross. But the truth is, they look like pale squishy jelly-beans wearing a bow tie, which is way better than it sounds. Sure, they also bear a strong resemblance to what kept coming out of Meaghan's body last year when she had those nasty sinus infections, but Bat Embryos still seem to rock it. What's even better about these things is that as they grow older, they go through the stages of the three wise monkeys! The hear-no-evil bat embryo is a little bit complacent, the gossipy little bitch 2) Baby Stingrays Ok, we want you to envision what it would be like if an aquatic pancake had a smile and wanted to cuddle you, and also was an animal. Have you got that mental image in your brain? Good. Well, it's real. This guy is full-on ready for snuggle time. Those adorable pink nubbins are its itty-bitty pelvic fins, by the way, and the "eyes" are actually its nostrils, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is that these guys are prepped to hug-launch themselves at you, and they tend to hatch en masse: hug party, anyone? Too bad they grow up into viscous beasts who stab your favorite celebrities (literally) in the heart. 3) Jumping Spiders They're fuzzy, they're small, they're rambunctious - jumping spiders are the Ewoks of the arachnid world. Sure they have beady eyes and are venomous - but their chelicerae look like two velvet-encrusted pillows made for miniaturized nap sessions! Plus, their fuzzy little faces are just begging to be memed. Yes, little buddy, yes it is can be. 4) Intestinal Parasites Cute on the outside, but feels less cute on your insides: yup, that's Giardia alright! This is the little bugger responsible for Beaver Fever, aka "poop-my-brains-out" disease. The dark "eyes" are the double nuclei of the protozoan, and the devilish smile is the "median body," the purposes of which are scientifically unknown but in Amy's unscientific opinion may only exist in order to taunt its victims. Depending on your perspective, our handsome little hanger-on here is wearing either glasses or what Meaghan likes to call "hangover eyes," but either way that little raccoon mask is a sucking disk that allows this cheerful chap to attach itself to the epithelial cells of the intestine. To recap: Giardia is so cute that it sucks onto your intestinal wall with its eyes. It gives you eye kisses. As our resident expert, Amy, how does it feel to have Giardia give you eye kisses in your tum-tum region? 5) Jerusalem Cricket Some may call them Satan's Fetus, but we think these little hell-bugs are cuddlier than most newborn children! It's a puffed up cricket wearing Georgia Tech colors, and with that big ol' butt (best twerkers in the animal kingdom?), there isn't anything unadorable about these little guys. Except for their faces, that is. Jiminy Cricket ain't got nothing on these guys 6) Pink Fairy armadillo While looking like the result of one freaky threesome between Edward Scissorhands, a mole, and an Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, the pink fairy armadillo still has a certain charm. It looks sort of like someone stretched out a piece of jerky amidst a nest of dandelion fluff and gave it eyes, or gave a rat a shave down to the muscle fibers, or possibly created a cornucopia of chewing gum and smooshed it into the fur of an albino mountain beaver. We can't quite put our finger on it, but man, it's adorable. On second glance, it appears to have feet made of chicken combs, and is wearing a cape made of a flayed earthworm. Hmm.. maybe it's the "pink fairy" name that's subconsciously luring us to believe this thing is cute... naw, just look at it! It totally just wants to cuddle! (And then maybe rip your throat out and wear it as evening attire). Ugh, WTF Guys, I Feel Dirty Now For Finding These Things Cute Though the above organisms may not fit the standard bill of "cute animal," we are still drawn to these organisms because of certain cute aspects that humans tend to pick up on. Take Giardia, for example: it's got the proper erm, 'head' proportions, all big ol' noggin and giant eyes. Head size and shape has a lot to do with what we think is cute, which is why we think freshly-harvested human fetuses are appealing despite looking like wrinkly, screaming bobble-head dolls. This is largely in part to their heads being proportionally large for their bodies (Alley 1981); and as they get older and grow into their bodies, perceived cuteness decreases. But guys, you're whining, most of these things had beady eyes and tiny heads! Sure, but the human instinct to find animals cute can also stem from a place of superiority. When we call something cute, that tends to associate the object with thoughts of meekness, tenderness and sympathy. Determining cuteness communicates more than a simple "awwwwww" but also implies power play, and combines weakness, submissiveness and humility with influence, domination and control (McVeigh 1996). This probably explains a lot of things, like the popularity of hairless cats: inherently ugly, yet somehow so appealing. It also explains why your mom likes you so much. BOOM ENDING ON A MOM JOKE = WINNING Works Cited Alley, T. R. (1981). Head shape and the perception of cuteness. Developmental Psychology, 17(5), 650. McVeigh, B. (1996). Commodifying affection, authority and gender in the everyday objects of Japan. Journal of Material Culture, 1(3), 291-312. --------------------- Do you like conventially hideous yet surprisingly adorable animals? Well, this blog is full of that sort of shit. Friend us on facebook, or twitter, or that other social network, what's that called, we always forget - oh, right, google +! That way you'll get updates, plus extra content that we work for at least 30 seconds on preparing for our social media accounts. Each has its own gem of a "read this please" joke, so feel free to follow us on all of them to truly watch our comedic genius. Remember, the more popular we think we are, the more likely we are to write more content, and everyone knows that the true measure of popularity is how many people like your facebook page.
Only a pink fairy armadillo and its nifty armadillo claws could make digging in the dirt this captivating.
There are millions of unique species on earth, and each year scientists encounter hundreds of previously unknown animals. Most of them have existed for years without us knowing about them, and maybe for a good reason too because some of these beings are utterly terrifying and just plain creepy.
Discover How Long Greater Fairy Armadillo Lives
My last post got me thinking, so here is a nominal set of interesting and strange animals I might consider putting around my Baroque pavilion. • The Aye-Aye, a "native to Madagascar that combines rodent-like teeth with a long, thin middle finger to fill the same ecological niche as a woodpecker. It is the world's largest nocturnal primate, and is characterized by its unique method of finding food; it taps on trees to find grubs, then gnaws holes in the wood and inserts its elongated middle finger to pull the grubs out." • The yeti lobster, a very recently-discovered creature which lives, of course, in deep-sea hydrothermal vents, where all the really weird and interesting creatures come from nowadays. • The cyclops kitten was an accident, and unfortunately didn't live very long. Not totally unheard-of, just less horrible than most. • Pill Bugs, or woodlice, or roly-polies, are weirder than you think: they are actually crustaceans, related more closely to lobsters and shrimp and so on than to insects or spiders. They are one of the world's old, (relatively) unchanged species, much, much older than the species I think of as old, like sharks and kauri trees, and they have some pretty interesting and strange habits. • I thought the Liger was a joke when I first heard about it, along with its relative the Tigon. Or at least, some kind of hoax. But no, it's not - and they are enormous, I don't know why. • My favorite creature: the Tarsier. I have a tiny picture clipped from a magazine of a tarsier staring with its trademark surprised look at the camera with a big bug sticking out of its mouth. For some reason, it's been a symbol for me of beloved dorks everywhere, and has inspired me to go on being silly despite everything. • The Star-Nosed Mole is just odd. Always has been, always will be. • Leafy Sea Dragons are something I have always wanted to see. They are endangered because they are so particular about their environment and eager collectors are always trying to take them home (where they die). But in their home environment - unbeatable. • I had to include a Komondor because, although they aren't particularly exotic, they have great hair. They do make you scratch your head and wonder how many other strange kinds of dogs you didn't know about? (And yes, they look like a tall version of Dougal, from the Magic Roundabout) • Grimpoteuthis, or Dumbo Octopi, are benthic creatures, living at extreme depths (up to 400 meters), and are some of the rarest octopi. Plus they use at least three different types of locomotion. Cool. • Blobfish. What can I say? There are a few others who aren't quite weird enough, such as Cantor's Giant Soft-Shelled Turtle, the Long-eared jerboa, or Pink fairy Armadillos, but they're definitely strange. If I had space, I might consider them. Come to think of it, many of the above creatures are a bit too attractive. I'd want to make my menagerie a bit more creepy, but the strangest and most disturbing creatures I know of are all parasites, which would make them difficult to display - except in jars, and that is really something more for a Cabinet. Just for balance, though, perhaps I ought to include the Coconut Crab, a giant terrestrial hermit crab. I do find myself actually glad that I don't live where these creatures roam, cracking coconuts and garbage cans with their bare claws (thanks, Jeff!). In any case, my beautifully-constructed, circular, conceptual menagerie needs only a beautiful (borrowed) pavilion to complete it, and I can go to sleep secure in the knowledge that I have expressed all the (borrowed) power and wealth I have to hand. Who needs royalty after all? Thanks to World's Strangest Looking Animals for some of the pictures.
