It may seem as if grief is not inside us, for it is too immense to be contained in such a small vessel as the body of a single person; rather, we are in it.
Did you know a study found that 31% of seniors admitted into psychiatric units for the elderly had recently been bereaved?
When my dad died, I noticed many worried about doing the right thing. 95% of the time, they did. But sometimes, they absolutely didn’t.
Here are 6 ways to be a friend to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Practical ways to share supportive friendship.
The holidays can be stressful especially if you've lost a loved one. Today, I share tips to cope with grief during the holidays.
Children of all ages grieve. They experience sadness, anger, guilt, fear, and anxiety. Learn how to help grieving children and give them age-specific support.
"How long does grief last?" is a logical, valid, and common question. Grief, especially early on, causes distress in many forms — mental anguish, emotional pain, physical depletion (etc., etc.). And all of these terrible things seem to happen at once, so it's only natural to want to know […]
A blog touching on the subjects of widowhood, parenting school-age kids, vision loss, anxiety, grief, love, gratitude and a positive attitude.
Anticipatory grief: “A feeling of grief occurring before an impending loss.” The grief process I wanted to describe started just after Matthew was born.
Let us start with an acknowledgment that you are grieving, and for that our hearts ache for you. We wish you peace and comfort, friend. Grief can manifest itself in many different physical and emot…
It is normal to mourn, to grieve, and to begin to feel isolated as your old familiar life and your closest friends and support group slip away.
Knowing that a loss is coming doesn't make grief any easier to handle.
Getting older goes hand in hand with losses of many kinds—ending careers, empty nests, illness, the deaths of loved ones—and this book by one of the world's most beloved grief experts helps one acknowledge and mourn the many losses of aging while also offering advice for living better in old age. The 100 practical tips and activities address the emotional, spiritual, cognitive, social, and physical needs of seniors who want to age authentically and gracefully, and each idea also includes a seize-the-day action to live fully and with joy in the present moment. For those who’ve just entered their 50s or are well on their way to the century mark, this book promises elder-friendly tips for comfort, laughter, and inspiration. Product DetailsISBN-13: 9781617221712 Media Type: Paperback Publisher: Companion Press Publication Date: 10-01-2012 Pages: 128 Product Dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.70(d) Series: Healing Your Grieving HeartAbout the Author Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, is a speaker, a grief counselor, and the director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. He is the author of Healing Your Grieving Heart, The Mourner's Book of Hope, and Understanding Your Grief, among many other bestselling titles on healing in grief. Kirby J. Duvall, MD, is a physician board-certified in family practice and occupational medicine. Together with Dr. Wolfelt, he is coauthor of Healing After Job Loss, Healing Your Grieving Body, and Healing Your Grieving Heart When Someone You Care About Has Alzheimer's. They both live in Fort Collins, Colorado.
Two years ago this month I shared nine quotes I liked that had to do with grief. I had felt grief, but it was naive grief, I believe. On the periphery, if you will. Before I had lost one of the most important people I will ever have in my life. The quotes I shared before are fine. Good, actually. I mean, anything Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has said is excellent. But there are several more that have touched my heart since my husband died, that truly resonate. That I have found and shared randomly but wanted to compile and elaborate on. For me specifically, my children have "mom's sad" radar and get very concerned and want to make it better. It's sweet, but also a little stifling in that it makes me feel like I can't fully openly grieve around them. Everyday life is trivial; actually has been for the last few years. There was recently a shooting at a mall not far from where we live. I could not suppress my emotion over, not only how awful shootings are, but over the death, and therefor, grief that comes with them. My heart ached for the loved ones of the victims. Before Mark died, I would see things like this shared and think, "oh that's nice". Now I GET it. It's not about canonizing the dead person. But you must remember, you must talk about them. Because they were human and you loved them and they mattered. It does. At least for me, in the five months since Mark passed, each morning when I wake up I seem to have to remind myself that he died. It was even necessary until recently because I was having the recurring dream that he wasn't dead, but I knew he was supposed to be. So confusing. I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat when I saw this. And then I thought, HOW have I never heard this quote before?? I wrote several years ago, quoting another poet, about the "depth and breadth" of our love. Mark and I loved each other unconditionally. We were best friends; a true team in life. If it hadn't been for his stupid illness(es), we would have been happily married forever. I truly believe this. Grief is a dichotomy. It is wrought with inconsistencies and contradictions. It is so confusing! It's very easy to not know if you're coming or going, if you're sad or happy, if you should do this or that. You're forgetful, selfish and a little thoughtless. But only because it's SO BIG. It's a good thing I have my kids. If it were just me, I think I would completely shut out everyone and everything. At least for awhile. I don't let myself cry so often, that when I do, it feels like this. On the other hand, this. I know, and I know I will. On the other, other hand.... See what I mean about the dichotomy? Oh the things you think about something before you actually experience it! Grieving the loss of my husband is different than I imagined it might be. There is no point A to point B. It so much about the history you shared and what that person taught you. Mark is mine. He is our kids'. I think when someone you love dies, that never changes. It's not like you broke up, like they're just not in your life anymore. They were taken from you when you didn't want it. This poem was sent to me shortly after Mark died. This touched me quite deeply because it describes exactly what happened. I know that Mark is whole and no longer suffering, which truly does bring me a lot of comfort. This sums it up. This is how this post came to be. I may be relying some on others' words to help me express how I am doing, but I am here, and that feels really big to me right now because I've been feeling very insecure about blogging my way through this. Probably because grieving is the hardest thing I've gone through, whether the anticipatory portion, while I slowly watched my husband fade away, or the reality of his departure. I may have thought other bad things were terrible and awful and just the worst, but I was wrong. Mark's death is a complete and total game-changer. I am trying to give it words. I do hope this wasn't a purely self-serving endeavor. I hope it was helpful too.
Instead of ignoring grief and pushing it aside, here are seveal conscious ways to acknowledge grief and begin your healing process.
The sadness and other emotions you experience with grief can have a physical effect on you, too.
It sounds to odd to "schedule time to grieve," and the first time I heard it in my GriefShare class I thought it was crazy. But between work, being a mom, spending time with my husband, being with family, caring for our home - there's not a whole lot of time or energy left for grief.
Grief is a normal human reaction to losing someone or something close to you. Healing rituals can be very a very therapeutic part of healing.
There are different kinds of grief. This unique sense of loss, which comes with waves of change, will likely become more common as humans face an increase in degenerative and aging-related illnesses.
A new study may explain why some elderly couples pass away only a short time apart
Read the Ultimate Survival Guide for coping with a devastating loss. Learn about the 5 Stages of Grief and how long grief lasts. Watch grief expert interviews.
When my dad died there were more flower arrangements at the funeral home than we could count. Though we were overwhelmed by the support of friends and family that those flowers represented, the tradition of sending flowers has always struck me as a bit strange. Someone has died, so their friends and family all give them something that will die too. Hmmm . . . Don’t get me wrong, my family is Greek and Greeks love flowers at funerals -- the more the better. So I know that sometimes flowers are the perfect gesture after a death. But with my personal aversion to giving flowers after a loss there are a few alternatives worth sharing for those looking for alternatives. This is just a start, so if you have other ideas of what to send instead of flowers please leave a comment. We want as comprehensive a list as possible.
Grief can be overwhelming after the loss of a spouse or loved one. These practical tips from grief experts can help you cope—and get through a tough time with resilience.
Read the Ultimate Survival Guide for coping with a devastating loss. Learn about the 5 Stages of Grief and how long grief lasts. Watch grief expert interviews.
Meditation for grief & loss can help you cope with the heartache and start feeling like yourself again, while also honoring your love & loss.
Discover 12 secret truths about grief after a suicide from top psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert. Get expert advice on dealing with anger and guilt issues.
Discover 12 secret truths about grief after a suicide from top psychologist Dr. Christina Hibbert. Get expert advice on dealing with anger and guilt issues.
The grieving process can be challenging to navigate. Here are a few tips to help you accept and healthily deal with the death of a loved one.
Read the BEST Grief Definition that you will ever find. Discover answers to the question: “What does grief mean for my life?”
Grief and loss books… Okay, so you’re not much of a reader. I suggest that you open your mind and give this a try, anyway. Why? Many grief books contain ... Read more
A grief ritual is something a person can do after experiencing loss as a way to honor their deceased loved one, process their grief, and let go of some of the negative feelings related to the loss.1 Grief rituals vary, should be unique to the situation, and can be done individually or with others.
Discover what happens when you go through grief, including different types of grief, stages, and quick tips for coping.
Musical and non-musical journaling prompts to reflect on the losses and changes that we might have gone through this year. They are designed in such a way that they can be used during music therapy sessions, by other helping professionals, or even for (your own) self-reflection.
Grief journaling can help us process emotions after a loss. What kind of loss? Death of a loved one, broken relationship, crumbled dreams, loss of a job, etc.
When my anxiety and depression affect my mental health, these are the self care strategies I use. They don't fix the problem, but they make me feel better.
I was well into a season of grief when I suddenly lost my father several years ago. It was sudden, unexpected and tragic. And without going into the details, because that’s not what this blog is about, it’s important to share how I made it through the darkest months and early years after my father’s passing. Looking back now, it all feels like a blur. I was living on the other side of the country, 3500 miles away from my mother and sister. I was “momming” hard with my 3 kids who had various school battles going on. One of my kids was being cyber bullied, harassed and police were involved. And my husband was working in Alaska, north of the Arctic Circle. I have never felt so alone in all my life. Although I was surrounded by my 3 beautiful children, I was very much alone and isolated. I had no close female friends in my life who lived near me and I was spending my days sobbing and unable to do even simple things like basic self-care. To make things more difficult, people began stepping out of my life. When I needed people to interact with me, they were quiet, silent and distant. I lost several relationships during the year when I was hurting most. Because if friends and family can’t love you when you are at your lowest point, they aren’t meant to be in your life at all… a lesson I teach my kids every day about what unconditional love means… there are no conditions to receive that love. I now know that I’m not alone. It’s common to feel this way as I hear from many friends who have walked similar roads on their journey with grief. Suddenly time becomes more important. Suddenly relationships are either genuine… or they aren’t. Suddenly a person’s focus boils down to what matters and what doesn’t. And that is when superficial relationships fall apart. The hardest times in our lives show us who is meant to be with us and who is not. The most difficult times I found, were those when my mind would wander. I filled my empty thoughts with moments of guilt for not living closer to my father. I struggled to find happiness in even little things. I struggled to get through the hurt. I struggled with loneliness. I felt as if I was the only person who had ever felt so much pain. That is when I turned to Pinterest. I found no solace in Facebook during this season in my life. It was painful. I saw images of people spending time with their families. I saw newsfeeds of friends smiling and having fun. I saw posts about people who were not hurting… who were not sad… who were not lonely. It was at those times that I would close my Facebook app on my phone and I would open the Pinterest app instead. I started scrolling and searching for things that made me feel better. Recipes. Gardening. Jewelry. Pretty images. And then I started finding quotes. Or maybe they found me. Quotes about grief and pain and hurt. I found quotes about fathers and quotes about being a daughter. I created a Pinterest board and I titled it “I Miss You” and I started pinning things to the board that expressed my pain, my grief and what it meant to lose my father. Quotes about being a Daddy’s Girl, words from a song my father used to sing to me, and anything else that helped me work through my feelings. Every evening, as I tried to wind down before I went to sleep, I forced myself to stay off the Facebook app, and I went to my happy place instead. Pinterest. I continued to create more boards as I found pins that inspired me. What brought me happy thoughts? If it made me smile, I created a board to find more of the same. After more than a year of pinning with purpose and working through my pain, I found I had created a large collection of pins and subsequent boards that brought me virtual happiness and were just one click away. Here’s the thing about Pinterest. It’s more of a search engine than it is a social media site. You can use it to find just about anything! One of the songs I kept hearing after the loss of my father was a song he used to sing to me, “I love you, a bushel and a peck” and I typed those words into the search bar and found so many beautiful quotes and even jewelry to pin! So here are 5 ideas for boards you can create to heal your grieving heart: I Miss You – Go ahead and make a board like I did. Share your pain. It’s okay. I’m giving you permission to grieve publicly. There’s no medal for holding it in. I created my board about 6 years ago and I just recently realized that out of almost 100 boards I’ve created, this one ranks 4th with people who follow me on Pinterest! Know what that tells me? That tells me other people need to express their pain, also. You never know who else will find your board (assuming you make it public). Your pins may help someone else, too! Quotes – You can incorporate this into an “I Miss You” board or make a separate one just for words that address your pain, your loss and your love for the person who has passed. Quotes helped me validate what I was feeling at some of my lowest points. Memories – You can search for images of memories you have. For example, my father loved music and always had it playing (much too loudly) in our home. He loved the Eagles, Billy Joel and John Denver. I could create a board that has album covers that bring those memories closer to my heart. Or I could search for the lyrics on Pinterest. Or I could search for pins about places I remember visiting with him… or foods that we liked to prepare and eat together… or movies that we loved to watch with each other. Favorites – You could create something that was special to your loved one. My father loved his NFL team, the Pittsburgh Steelers and it would be easy to create a board with his favorite players from the 1970s through the 1980s. My grandmother, on the other hand, loved flea markets and country music. I could create a board with her most-loved artists or images of old flea markets that reminds me of being a child and doing those things with her. Keeping a memory alive is so much easier when you are able to dig deeper into what your loved one felt passionate about and you can honor them with a simple Pinterest board to showcase some of those things. Create Your Own – If you have things that belonged to your loved one, you can take photos of them and create your own pin(s). I even made my own pins where I took my father’s most remembered quotes and I turned them into pins with his name on them. He had some amazing sayings and I felt his words should live on to honor his spirit and his life teachings he passed on to me. If you are struggling with grief, there is a website that I found comforting during my most painful hours. It’s called What’s Your Grief and I followed their site on social media, as well. They offer articles that will meet you with whatever pain you are experiencing at the time. For me, their attention to parenting through a season of grief was what I needed most. How to be a parent and be hurting over the loss of a parent was one of the many topics that helped me keep showing up as best I could. If you have worked through a season of grief… or if you’re knee deep in it now… I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below and let me know if you find this helpful. I would love to know if you found this blog post helpful and if you have any thoughts about follow up blogs I could write to help others with their pain. (P.S. Below …
Read the Ultimate Survival Guide for coping with a devastating loss. Learn about the 5 Stages of Grief and how long grief lasts. Watch grief expert interviews.
Read the Ultimate Survival Guide for coping with a devastating loss. Learn about the 5 Stages of Grief and how long grief lasts. Watch grief expert interviews.
