One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them...
... “If I can show something you have never seen before will you give me a free drink?” Now the barman has seen mostly everything in his time and says, “Sure, impress me and hell, I’ll give you a free tab for the eve!” So the man puts down the box and opens it and then he pulls a small...
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases […]
No kidding: You're going to love this cheesy collection of puns and one-liners—they're ideal for celebrating National Tell a Joke Day on August 16.
Two Italian men get on a bus… They sit down and engage in an animated […] More
A nun needs to use the restroom and goes into Hooters. She asks if she can use the restroom and the bartender tells her there is a naked - joke of the day
A boy is visiting his girlfriend’s home for the first time. He’s looking for a […] More
A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held […]
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man ind.. #funny, #joke, #humor
The lizard looks up and says “Hey, what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey, and they have another joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the...
The doctor was having tea with his wife when the phone rang. From there his […] More
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll...
Three brothers each marry a woman. The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her: “When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.” He didn’t see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy. The second brother married...
She’s looking to make fillets for dinner and asks the guy behind the counter for a suggestion. “I’d recommend this right here, ma’am. It’s new to the market.” “What kind of fish is it?” She asks. “It’s dam fish, ma’am.” The pastors wife abruptly says. “How dare you use that kind of...
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?” He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.” “OK, have you ever been in the military service?” “Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.” The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward...
“Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!” Mrs...
Einstein says, “Let’s play a game. I will ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500”. The man agrees and the game proceeds. Einstein asks the first question, “What is the distance between the Earth and...
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed. ...
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!” “I bought it today,” he says. “With what money?” says his mother arching an eyebrow. They knew what a new F150 cost. “Well,” he says, “this one cost me...
Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a undressed women, […]
Does your dad have jokes? Celebrate Dad's particular sense of humor with this collection of 111 of the Best Dad Jokes (aka the Worst Dad Jokes) with memes!
“Doctor, I need your help,” the woman says. “What seems to be the problem?” “My […]
In this post, you will read 20, funniest and best jokes ever. These are our top jokes. Enjoy reading them. Have fun! Smile more!
Ever found yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of scrolling through social media, looking for a well-needed distraction, only to realize that you haven't even cracked a smile? Yeah, we've been there. The web is jam-packed with content, but not all of it gets a chuckle out of us, right?
But after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other. At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch. “Where you wanna go?” “Hooters.” “Why Hooters?” “They...
Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school. Son:...
Years later, they get back together to discuss the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother for her 90th Birthday. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat...
A blind man went to a restaurant. “Menu sir?” asked the owner. “I’m blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order.” The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelt the fork with a deep breath, “Yes I...
Frank and John left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the […]
A farmer has four beautiful daughters He’s a bit overprotective of them, so when Friday […] More
A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rubber pack. She […]
God was just about done creating humans. He was feeling pretty satisfied with his work, but he had two parts left over. He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them. “I’ve got two things for you, but you’ll have to decide who gets...
Three friends were at the bar talking, and after many rounds of beer, one of […]
A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar getting […]
Dad jokes are going through something of a renaissance, and if your partner rolls her eyes and your children cry “daaaaaaad!”, then you know you’ve hit the nail on the head and have found a good on…
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “I’m telling you, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” His boss was tired of hearing him boast and decides to call his bluff. “OK, Dave, how about Elon Musk?” “Oh, Elon and me go way back, and I can prove...
One Sunday morning in February, the pastor slowly made his way to the rural church in the middle of a blizzard, arriving with just five minutes to spare. He walked in, turned on the lights and looked around. No one else was there. As he was about to turn everything off and go back home, an...
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late one night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “But we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick...
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber
This collection of intelligent short jokes will leave laughing!
He asks him what happened. His friends says, “Well I was in church and...” The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?” The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting and kneeling, I noticed she...
