A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
Three drunk men get in a taxi after leaving the bar. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off after ten seconds, saying they had arrived at their destination. The first man gave him the money and exited the taxi. The second man thanked him and also left...
#6 has glitched out from deletes and rises from the ashes anew - #7!! Don't delete comments, please just edit and help us maintain the thread! Wrapping up…
An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short s...
It’s a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, “How long will it be?” The mechanic says, “Just a few minutes.” So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets...
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends. Brunette: “Last night I had three orgasms in a row!” Blonde: “That’s nothing; last night I had over a hundred.” Brunette: “My god! I had no idea he was that good.” Blonde: (looking shocked) “Oh, you mean with one guy?”
A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.” A voice from the...
A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door.Son: “Mommy, may I ask you a question?”Mom: “Yeah sure, what it is?” repl.. #story, #funny
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The...
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes...
A Shooting Pain by Dave Wolf | This newsletter was created with Smore, an online tool for creating beautiful newsletters for educators, businesses and more
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