Ello for you. Today we is takin detour from little stories bout wot I been doin to bring you WARNIN about a mennis in our midst. My pal Bridie did bring this sinister notiss to my attenshun today... ...grrr squirrels not behavin theyselves as usual...I fink some of you do not realise that squirrel population is growin at alarmin rate of knots and will soon be finkin they haz the run of our countryside and be takin over our gardens and stealin our noms... Comin to a garden near you.... ...and dussnt be complacent becos they is showin you they cute ears and fings.... Not cute...not even a bit... ...dussn't be fooled .... they is armed and dangruss.... Black Jack Squirrel.... Osama Bin Squirrel ....they will try and infiltrate your towns and villages by adoptin disguises..... Secret Squirrel... Squirrelly Hendrix Familee squirrel ....but I say you that they is livin dissolute and disrepyootubble lives... Booze.... Greed.... Sloth.... Gamblin.... Roody behaviour... ...and they will be appy to turn on their own kind wivout no fort to morals or decorum... Geroff me nuts.... Gone to the Dark Side... ...and they will be usin their superpowers not for GOOD but for EVIL... Preparin for EVIL... Swoopin in in EVIL fashun... ...and they has designs on your familee... Kidnappin ..and usin em for evil purposes... Fotograffin em... ...and puttin em on the internets... ...they will be whisperin in the ears of yore pets... I am yore friend chickky...(aside: I am not yore friend) Consortin wiv mortal enemees ...only to further their quest for werld dommynayshun and cornerin market in nuts... Lessons from nature...watch your anipals ...even tryin to turn YOU to the dark side my chums... He said he would be my pal... ...dese fings cannot end well...BEWARE!!!!... Woofsqueak.... ...but the future is bright my chums iffen we juss stay vigilant...and pay attenshun to advice... ...takin note of approved tactics.... Infiltrate em... ...they will be snoozin on the job... Stick em up nut-nibblers.. ...we can make sure they is incarserrated... *irony* ...bend em to our will... ...and if they dussnt behave...well....they kno wot is comin...either: Back where you belong... or: Lernin they lessons.. Au contraire...I'm da man... WE SHALL PREVAIL!! This ends this public service announcement....Marley....woof.
