The other day, a friend tried to convince me to set up a profile on an online dating site. When I was reluctant, it became clear she would not take "no" for an answer. “If you won’t do it, then I’ll do it for you, and monitor the responses," she said. "But I want it to be representative of you, so describe for me your type of guy." "I don't really have a type," I answered, feeling pressured. "Or if I do, it’s fluid. I like all of Lydia Lunch’s boyfriends. They were all so moody and brooding. I guess if I had a type, it could be described as 'Lydia Lunch's leftovers’. Or 'Every guy Lydia Lunch has ever gone out with ever.' " "Hum,” she said. She seemed to be taking what I had said into consideration. "I’m not really familiar with anyone she's gone out with. You'll have to send me some pictures.” “I’ll do you one better,” I said, a sudden wave of enthusiasm overtaking me. "I’ll make a list!” The following is a list of musician, writer, actress (progenitor of a million black shag mullet haircuts) Lydia Lunch’s seven most moody and broody boyfriends. Or rumored moody broody boyfriends, as she denies going out with a few of these men now, though there is plenty of compelling evidence to the contrary. As they say, one of the greatest weapons in an ex's arsenal is denying that the relationship ever happened!