You know the kind that is used as the base support for single beds? And you know how one or two pieces of slats sometimes break so people throw the whole thing away? And you know how you are driving by mindingyourownbusiness when you see a thrown-away one leaning-by-a- lamp-post-at-the-corner-of-a-street-in-case-a-certain-little-lady-comes-by-oh-me-oh-my...I mean, waiting for Alam Flora to pick it up? Yah, that one. 1. Pick it up and slide it into your car. 2. Pry off the nails and remove the broken slat. 3. Cut the whole piece to the size you want - in this case I wanted it 7-slats wide. So four slats were cut off. 4. Place 'extra' slat in between the original piece as you don't want the gap too big. 5. Find out the gap is too small and the slat can't fit in which is why you are an amateur DIY-er. 6. Which means more work. Enlist husband (he made me say that). Remove all slats in the centre, leaving only a frame. 7. Now space out all the loose slats with the size of gap you wanted in between. Nail them down. 8. Paint each slat tillkingdomcome when you really only wanted the whole thing one colour, because above-mentioned-beloved-husband one day some time ago remarked we have too many things painted in white. 9. Lacquer-finish it. 10. Look for cute shoes to model for you (knowing that at this point Rhoda and 12 others are going to get completely distracted by above-mentioned-shoes and not get the point) 11. Find out you just can't live with it cos it's just. not. you. All that colour! Feels like it belongs at the entrance of a nursery or somethin'. Late that night . . . . . . . . . . . . beloved-creative-son-whose-opinion-matters-a-lot-to-you comes home, points at it and says, "Nice, Mum. Are you opening a nursery now?" That's it! I knew it! I'm giving it away. If you can give me a good reason why I should give it to you, please do so and I will. Like if you are running a nursery or somethin'. Oh, and don't bother if your answer is, "Because you love me." Maybe you can consider that line on above-mentioned-beloved-husband who doesn't know about this yet. Deadline for answers: June 20th, 2011
