After weeks and months of staying at home, most people are excited about the gradual re-opening and easing of lockdown restrictions. However, many of us still describe feeling uneasy, insecure, and un-informed about the “new normal”. A large number of Americans report feeling anxious, stressed out, experiencing feelings of depression or concern about their mental wellbeing as well as that of their family members. Even people who have not previously experienced these feelings before might suddenly find themselves concerned about exposure to germs, socializing or entering public spaces. Young children especially might act “clingy” and feel anxious about going back to school and being separated from their parents after spending so much time together. As the parent of a toddler who is just starting day care, I found myself trying to juggle my own emotions while appearing cheerful and confident for my child and everyone around me. My fearful state of mind and the separation anxiety my son was feeling were both new to me and left me wondering what I can do to alleviate the stress we were all experiencing. Resist the Urge to “Fix the Problem” I spoke with Sandrine Marlier, a mother, meditation teaches and author of “Odette’s Alphabet” - a book that offers children tools of mindfulness practice to handle overwhelming emotions, who recommends that parents resist the urge to “fix the problem” when their children are feeling scared or anxious. “There is nothing to fix because nothing is broken!” Sandrine points out. “It is ok to have big emotions!” Saying things like “calm down” or “don’t be sad” may seem like the first thing that pops into our mind, but with a more supportive dialogue we can actually help our children to deal with and work through those feelings. Try to observe your child without judgment and a neutral attitude. Be curious about what your child is experiencing and do not jump to conclusions. Instead of asking “Are you nervous?”, try asking things like “What are you feeling? What are your thoughts? And how does that feel inside your body?” When Fear is Healthy or Even Helpful Ivan Greene, a lifelong professional rock climber and motivational speaker, who teaches workshops in “Fear Management” clarifies: some amount of fear is healthy and helpful, it can even be life saving. “If you cross a busy street in the city or are being chased by a lion in the desert, having fear is a quite reasonable and important instinct to have. Fear, to some degree, can help us stay alert and focused, be cautious and make calculated decisions. Anxiety is when the fear spins out of control and keeps us from thinking clearly and acting rationally.” “In an anxious moment children are not rational, you cannot reason with them.” Sandrine explains. “Talking about what is happening on their level can slow down the panicky feeling and create a distance to the negative emotions”. You can even stand up, move around, or role play! Give the fear a personality, shape or color and pretend you are scaring it away!” I giggle as I remember a creative writing workshop where we imagined a little fear monster during a guided meditation session and stomped it into the ground - apparently this works for grown-ups, as well! Detaching yourself from these kinds of limiting emotions can be a very helpful tool. When Anxiety Inevitably Arises, Remember to Breathe She also recommends breathing exercises: “Controlling you breath can help controlling your fear. Anxiety puts you in a place of stenosis” says Marlier. If you think back to the last time you felt scared, you might remember that “knot in the stomach” feeling, tension, or another physical way in which the sensation manifested itself. It is paralyzing, choking, restricting. “A mindset of anxiety is based on fear. Not having enough, not getting enough, not being enough. We want to create a mindset of abundance and room to grow, based on love, trust and gratitude.