*Links below may be affiliate links, this will not change the cost, but I may get a small commission. Alright ladies and gents, sit back and relax because this is going to be a long post. Unfortunately, there’s no magic trick that is going to make your acne go away overnight, trust me, if there was I would’ve heard of it. Let me give you a little background about my journey with acne. In high school I had the occasional blemishes, my skin was nowhere near perfect, but it wasn’t bad. I never felt the need to wear makeup and never gave my acne a second thought when I stepped away from the mirror. That all changed in January of my junior year of college, and don’t try and tell me that my acne was from my diet. At this point I had been vegan for about a year and ate as well as one can eat at the dining hall. Around January I had started to notice when I was washing my face that there were a ton of pumps under my skin. You couldn’t tell from looking at it, but when I washed my face it felt like the Appalachian trail was chilling under there. Once March rolled around the acne started to surface on my chin, I didn’t think much of it and treated it like other times that I had broken out. This time though it wouldn’t stop, not matter how much I washed my face or how much drug store acne medication I put on it wouldn’t go away. A similar thing happened to my brother a year earlier, unfortunately genetics were not on our side when it came to adult acne. Safe to say I cried, because I knew what was coming and immediately booked a dermatologist appointment. She prescribed me Tretinoin (.05%) and I was sure this was going to make everything better fast. I researched as much as I could on this topical treatment and there weren’t a lot of blog posts with pictures, hence why I’m writing this. After, going through it I understand, man these pictures are sights for sore eyes. (you can see that it was mostly on my chin and that my face in general was just very red) My dermatologist said this would make my skin extremely dry, and boy was she right. From my understanding Tretinoin exfoliated from the inside out. It accelerates the speed in which everything comes to the surface and stimulates skin growth. So basically, instead of the mountain range staying under my skin where no one could see it, it brought it all to the surface quicker, and all at once. When I first started on Tretinoin I only used it on my chin, because the dryness was so bad and uncomfortable that I didn’t think I could handle it all over my face. Regrets, I wish I had done it all at once, rip the band aid off. Regardless, it sucked because now I had bright red irritated acne as well as flaky skin that looked god awful when I tried to put makeup on. There was no winning. I recommend putting moisturizer on, letting it sink in, and then putting the Tretinoin. After letting that sit, following up with another layer of lotion, trust me you’ll thank yourself later. My chin was the only place that peeled, but it peeled persistently for about a month and was not comfortable or a cute look. For a moisturizer I highly recommend this oil-free moisturizer by Alba Botanica, it has made all the difference for me in the past few months. A couple weeks after using this on my chin I decided to put it on my cheeks and oh boy, get ready for these pictures. Use these pictures as reference for it has to get worse before it gets better. I had never had bad acne and didn’t know my skin could even get this bad, it was a shock to the confidence to say the very least. Because my skin was so dry it looked worse when I put makeup on and constantly be thinking about people staring at my acne. If you’re going through this just remember everyone’s had their trials with acne, people probably notice it less than you, and you’re your harshest critic so stop analyzing it for hours in the mirror. I honestly had so many times when I wanted to stop using Tretinoin because then at least I could wear makeup and try and scrape my self-confidence out of the gutter. About a month later I had noticeably less raised bumps, but my face was still very red and had a ton of acne marks on it. The painful dryness had stopped and I mostly just used the Tretinoin on my cheeks and chin because the skin around my nose and my forehead dried and peeled too easily and they weren’t my problem areas. Again, probably should’ve done it everywhere but this is my honest, stupid college self’s experience. After the semester ended I went to my dermatologist again, she gave me a prescription for to help attack the acne from the inside, and upped my Tretinoin to .1%. She also told me my severe acne would take about 2-3 years to go away. There’s absolutely no way she didn’t see my huge blue eyes fill with tears. I can specifically remember getting in the car after and my dad calling to see how it went. I had to hang up on him to stop from crying. It’s hard to look in the mirror and only be able to see the acne looking back at you. It sounds so dramatic but it’s how I felt, so if that’s how you’re feeling, you’re not alone. My parents told me to stay optimistic with the new medication because it worked for my brother and to keep using the topical treatment like the doctor had said. So I shipped off to Europe with a face full of acne, but slowly returning self-esteem. I no longer felt the need to wear makeup, well for the most part. The medication definitely leveled out my skin quicker than I expected, but the acne scars were still very much there. Here’s the best picture I could find from that phase of my acne. (Self-promo it was taken on The Top of Europe in Switzerland, check out this future blog post of my trip). June is when my internship started and also when I stopped taking as much notice on my acne. It was flat and slightly less dry, so I wore a little bit of foundation on my cheeks for the majority of the summer. I still got an occasion pimple, but it was mostly from my own fault of touching my face too much. Over the course of the summer is when I really started to see the acne scaring fade away. By August I was able to go anywhere without thinking twice whether I had put makeup on or if anyone was looking at my skin. And man this was relieving. I know it’s such in unimportant thing in the grand scheme of everything. But having your insecurities advertised on your face was really hard for me to deal with. Another perk of Tretinoin is that my pores have shrunk tremendously all over my face which is really nice. Fast forward to March, a year later, and now, here are some updates on how my acne scars are looking now. It really is a beautiful thing when you look in the mirror and your eyes aren't immediately drawn to acne scars. Yes if you look a little harder there are most definitely a few still there, but that's okay. I am looking forward to the day when my acne scars are gone, but I have come a long way in a year. If you are currently going through a similar situation, I understand what a blow severe (or any) acne can do to your confidence. It will get better and it will definitely be worth it. TLDR With Tretinoin it has to get worse before it gets better, and I mean Mt Washington worse. It will take months and maybe a year for acne scars to fade, but your pores will be significantly smaller in the long run and you’ll thank yourself later. Stick with it, listen to your dermatologist, and it will get better.