Here are some IEP tips that I found useful in our communication and dealing with the school. I will split these tips in two groups: (1) tips necessary for surviving the process, and (2) tips necessary for working with the system, being effective, and getting things done. Must know IEP tips: You are a member of the team. Really. Not only that, you are a specialist on this team. The only specialist in your child at the table. Remind people of this, as gentle or as forceful as necessary. Be prepared, listen to what other at the table have to say, give your opinion, advocate for your child. Never accept or sign the IEP at the meeting. Usually you are asked to sign a summary of the discussion, but request time to review the IEP proposal. If you follow this blog, you know that I almost never accept the first proposal, and I make a point of calling it a draft - meaning, a working document. Review the IEP and ask in writing for any changes that are necessary. Go through as many version of the IEP as needed, until you are satisfied with your child plan. Never reject your first IEP. If necessary, go with partial rejection. A full rejection of the first IEP resets the entire process. Find something you agree with in the document, and accept selective portions of the IEP. Take notes, or better yet, bring somebody with you as a note taker. Make sure you have documentation of everything that was agreed upon in the meeting. If an agreement does not make its way to the actual IEP, you will need to argue that it was discussed in the meeting. Depending on the importance of the agreement, consider following up the meeting with an email, restating your understanding regarding the agreement. Ask for all evaluation reports before the meeting. Check the laws in your state. Schools are required to provide evaluation reports 48 hours before the meeting. Request copies of all the documents discussed during the meeting. These include progress reports, classroom work, teacher's data collection, etc. While the school is required to provide evaluation reports before meeting, it is not required to provide, for instance, annual progress reports. I always ask for them in advance - very politely and as a courtesy. I get them most of the time. So ask. Ask questions. Make sure you understand everything that is discussed. Parents are sometime reluctant to ask for clarifications for fear they will appear ignorant. Seriously, nobody is a specialist in everything. Ask questions and avoid confusion and misunderstanding. Understand the role of each member of the IEP team. Make sure you know how decisions are made in your district, especially regarding allocation of resources. Every team should have at least one person that can (at least theoretically) make decisions regarding resources. You need to understand that getting paraprofessional support, for instance, means money allocation; getting summer services means money allocation; getting an iPad means money allocation, etc. The teachers and service providers can't make these decisions. Find out who can in your team and your district. My "best practice" IEP tips: Assume good will and competence. People on your child's team want to help your child and have good intentions. I believe that. Some times those intentions do not aligned with your expectations, and sometimes those intentions get lost because the constraints of the system (your school, district, budget). As you fight the system and try to change opinions, appreciate the fact that, most likely, people care about your child. Trust, but verify. Make sure that the good plan put forward in the IEP is actually implemented. Ask for work samples from all service providers, including the classroom. Ask for the weekly schedule of your child and make sure all services are reflected in that schedule. Make communication with the team a priority. Create a pattern of communication with all team members. Find out best ways to communicate with each member, as they may have different preferences (email, phone calls, communication log, classroom website, etc.). Let people know that school-home communication is important for you. Write that in the parent vision portion of the IEP. Ask for consultation time in the IEP (more about this below). Enforce a "no surprise" policy. Let your teacher/team know about your concerns before any meeting. I always send an email with my concerns and with the topics for the meeting. I want them to be prepared and to have time to gather all relevant information. I ask the same policy from the team. If at a meeting the team introduces a new issue and you feel blindsided, don't hesitate to let them know "I don't feel prepared to have this discussion. I wished you would have let me know about this issue before the meeting. You can present your arguments, but I need time to think about my position. This will require another meeting." Do this often enough and they will get the message. Add consultation time to the IEP. Consultation time is crucial. And it is crucial for consultation to actually be written in the IEP's service grid. If it's in the IEP, chances are it will happen. We have consultation time with all teachers and service providers. This is possible as we are still in the elementary school. We will probably need to get creative with parent consultation time when in middle school or high school. In addition to parent-teacher consultation, we advocate for (1) consultation time between general and special ed teachers, (2) between teacher and all service providers, and (3) between general ed teacher and para-professional. Be a resource for the team. Carve a place for you in the team. Don't be the parent who always complains and asks for things. Find ways to provide help. This can be research related to your child disability, volunteer time, materials for the classroom, advocacy to the administration on behalf of teachers needs, etc. Prioritize your requests. Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. Pick your battle, fight, find resolution, move to the next one. For us, kindergarten was the time to fight for para-professional support. First grade was the time to fight for inclusive summer services. Second grade was the time to fight for 1:1 para-professional support. We were very lucky that placement was never and issue for us and my son was always included in general education classrooms. Get used to hearing "no". All they can do is say "no". This is one of the most important lessons I've got from my advocacy training. So I keep asking. Get used to saying "no". As important, learn to say "no". No, I don't agree. No, this is not appropriate for my child. I have a very non-confrontational personality and it is hard for me to say no to people. But when it comes to the education of child, I totally say "no" on his behalf. Find one ally. Find one member on the team that has the disposition, the willingness, and the personality to advocate for your child. Make a more personal connection to that person - share some personal issues, your vision for your child, ask for their advice. Trust the people, be skeptic of the system. This loops back to the first tip. People have good intentions, but they also need to keep their jobs. Recognize that your teachers and providers have personal lives, with many problems. At the end of the day, your kid is your whole life, but he/she is just their job. And that's fine. That's how it should be. Don't put a teacher in the position of choosing between your child and their job. Don't make them look bad, if your can help it. Recognize that they function within a system with multiple constraints, that will always protect itself and resist change. As much as possible, learn to work within this system. There you have it. I hope this is useful. Do you have any IEP tips that serve you well? I mentioned this before, but I think it's relevant. This book helped me a lot. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In - amazing book, that I've read several times. Related to how to negotiate without emotion. Putting yourself in the other person shoes and finding the best outcome for everybody. Works in every aspect of our lives. Gives you power and keeps the process non confrontational.