A guy is trying to relax at home, but his wife keeps nagging him to mow the lawn. Finally, in between nags he blurts out, “Answer just this one question for me.” She pauses momentarily, and he takes this opportunity to say, “You know, a Deer, a Cow, and a Horse, all eat grass. But […]
A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “Senior’s Special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. “Sounds good,” the wife said. “But I don’t want any...
Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed that’s why I’m here I’m going […]
Three drunk men get in a taxi after leaving the bar. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off after ten seconds, saying they had arrived at their destination. The first man gave him the money and exited the taxi. The second man thanked him and also left...
An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short s...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top […]
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel his wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. “I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce. The husband says nothing, he keeps […]
Harry had a bit of a drinking problem. Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole, and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for...
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night.” The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. Just […]
It’s a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, “How long will it be?” The mechanic says, “Just a few minutes.” So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets...
A 60 years old billionaire marries a young 25 year old girl… After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage… After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo young lady.. “It’s simple” billionaire boasts… “I faked my age” “Yes, but even for a 40/45 years […]
