If you would have told me six months ago that I would be down almost 70 pounds, with 80% less stomach and 6 small scars on my tummy I would have asked you where you got the good stuff because you are clearly high AF. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would do something SO drastic as cut out most of my stomach. Clearly I like pretty much all things bad for me so OBVIOUSLY there was NO way I would do that. True story: I always thought weight-loss surgery was the easy way out. I had quite a few close friends and family ask me if I would ever have surgery. I thought that was the rudest fucking thing they could ask me. Of course this goes back to the whole “reverse body dismorphia” thing. I just didn’t think I was THAT BIG. Like, I knew I was big, but not “have major surgery to help with it” big. Another reason I never thought I was big enough to have surgery was honestly Adawg never treated me any differently. He truly loves me however I am. Batshit crazy and all. I was never skinny in our relationship, so it’s not like he was used to that or anything. The Month Before the Big Surgery Day: The month leading up to my surgery was a breeze. I didn’t have any waiting period because my insurance didn’t cover anything. I met with my bariatric team at Acadiana Weight Loss Surgery, which included a nutritionist, a nurse, a patient advocate, a behavioral modification counselor, and a mental health counselor. Yes, you definitely need to talk to a mental health professional before you undergo something like this. They want to make sure you are in the right mental state. Mine was a Zoom call as it took place during COVID. In not so many words my girl was like,” Mel, you’re crazy AF so I’m going to need you to have 2 EXTRA sessions.” Those are my words, not hers. Haha! Basically they wanted to make sure I could use other types of stress relief that didn’t include food or alcohol and I didn’t turn to drugs. Side Note: A high number of bariatric patients have addiction transference, meaning they transfer their food addiction to gambling, alcohol, or drugs. So they really make sure they provide a lot of tools to help with any stress, etc. Thank God I got my crazy under control and they approved me for surgery! Two Weeks Leading Up To Surgery Day: On June 22nd, I started my two week pre-op diet. That consisted of a high protein, low carb, and low fat diet. I lost almost 20 pounds in those two weeks before my big day. I was so fucking excited! The night before my surgery, I was shockingly calm. I am a pretty anxious person so I was pretty surprised at how CALM I was the morning of my surgery as well. My surgeon, Dr. Eschete is the nicest, cutest, doctor on the planet. He was/ still is amazing and I would highly recommend him for this or any procedures. I finally got nervous right before they brought me back. He did a great job of calming my ass down though. AKA he gave me drugs. My surgery didn’t take too long, maybe a few hours if that. Waking up from surgery I was super nauseous from the anesthesia and felt so much pain. I let the nurse know and she gave me the good kind of pain meds. I remembering saying to her,” well this is why people do drugs!” She laughed, I was clearly high AF, and immediately went night-night. From that moment on it’s been pretty awesome, but more on that next time!