A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the .. #funny, #joke, #humor
A woman went to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. “What […]
During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students…“Students, If you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to .. #funny, #joke, #humor
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
One is a member of the Gestapo. One is an Imperial Japanese officer. And one is a Fascist Italian Commander.They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do .. #funny, #joke, #humor
Little Tommy was doing very poorly in mathHis parents had tried everything: tutors, flash cards, special learning centers — in short, everything they could think of.Finally in a last .. #funny, #joke, #humor
When the husband came home, he was worried because his mistress had pulled out his nails on his chest. Seeing the cat sleeping on the couch, he opened the door and slammed it hard. The cat meowed loudly and ran out the door. When his wife came into the living room and asked what happened, […]
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man ind.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll...
All tests came back looking good, and the doctor sits down to discuss the results with him.“Well, Eric, physiologically everything looks good. How are you doing emotionally and mentally? A.. #funny, #joke, #humor
“You’ve got a rare disease and you’ve only got 6 months to live,” the doc tells him.The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he’s going to get a second opinion.He finds another.. #funny, #joke, #humor
The woman went to a psychologist and complained: "I don't want to get married. I am educated, independent and self-sufficient. I don't need a husband. But
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheepIt was fascina.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A man went to a seafood restaurant and ordered a seafood platter. When the dish arrived, he noticed something unusual. He called the waiter and said, "This fish is labeled as 'piranha,' but it looks like a normal fish." The waiter replied, "Ah, yes, that's our 'Piranha Surprise' – it surprises you by not eating
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:” Rome ? Why would anyone want to.. #funny, #joke, #humor
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right .. #funny, #joke, #humor
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer un.. #funny, #joke, #humor
“I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician,” his first friend said, taking a swig of his beer.“How's that?” his other friend asked.“Well, the other day I came home and .. #funny, #joke, #humor
I am wellHope you're tooTell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm – tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll let you
My girlfriend was slightly overweight.So, our Doctor put her on a diet.He said to her that she had to eat regularly for 2 days, skip a day and repeat that procedure for 3 weeks and th.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar getting soused.A man comes in and asks the farmer,“Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” #funny, #joke, #humor
A baker wanted to get to know a great guru in his town a little […]
A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll let you
There was an Englishman, Scottishman and an Irishman swimming in the sea one day when suddenly they were captured by pirates.The captain said to them your getting locked up in dungeons for 5.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A man was playing golf when he hit his ball into the woods. As he went to retrieve it, he stumbled upon a talking frog. The frog looked up at him and said, "Hey, I'm actually a beautiful princess, and if you kiss me, I'll turn back into a princess, and I'll grant you three
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Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very fr.. #funny, #joke, #humor
So, one night he took her along with him.“What’ll you have?” he asked.“Oh, I don’t know #funny, #joke, #humor
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was takenYou've got to have a room somewhere, he pleadedOr just a bed, I don't care where. #funny, #joke, #humor
This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to b.. #funny, #joke, #humor
At one point during the game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”The little boy nodded in the affi.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago.He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.When asked why, he replied .. #funny, #joke, #humor
“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.A little girl raised her hand“I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.” #funny, #joke, #humor
Shortly after British Airways 293 flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your CaptainWelcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London.. #funny, #joke, #humor
An elderly man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra:The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.“Why not?” Asked the elderly man. #funny, #joke, #humor
The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, Sir. I must have misunderstood youWhat did you say?”“Listen up, damn it #funny, #joke, #humor
When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantl.. #funny, #joke, #humor
