A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied. A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, “I’ll...
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the .. #funny, #joke, #humor
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. #funny, #joke, #humor
I was strolling in the gardens of an insane asylum when I met a young man who was reading a philosophy book.His behavior and his evident good health made him stand out from the other inmates.. #story, #funny
Things can quickly turn complicated if two people from the same family start relationships with two people from another family. This story is a hilarious example of just that. An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and...
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 storeas they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”The seco.. #funny, #joke, #humor
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man ind.. #funny, #joke, #humor
Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a undressed women, […]
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them...
In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to the market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road. The basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke.” The moral...
Elsa, a 97 year old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, StPeter was standing there waiting for her.He said, “Welcome, Elsa.. #funny, #joke, #humor
Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day.Sid asks Abe,“Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?” #funny, #joke, #humor
Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I will give you three reasons why you need to go to school. Son:...
Jerry is the manager of a restaurantHe is always in a good mood.When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply: “If I were any better, I would be twins!” #story, #funny
When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Every day, they find nothing. And yet, in the evening, after their shift has finished and they are in the tea houses or restaurants in the city, they see the...
So I was sitting on the bus just reading a book when somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and saw an old lady. She said to me, “Sonny, would you like some nuts? I’ve got a couple hazelnuts and almonds if you’d like.” “Sure.”, I replied. She gave me a handful of nuts and went...
A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house. Knocking on the door he was greeted.. -funny adult joke
One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?” Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet...
On the first day, God created the first dog and said,... “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.” “For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give...
“Doctor, I need your help,” the woman says. “What seems to be the problem?” “My […]
1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University.On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in t.. #funny, #joke, #humor
His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye Grandpa” The father asked, “Why did you say good bye Grandpa?” The little girl said “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.” The...
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases […]
