BLUE The Repeating Cycle of Attachment Wounding. 1. The child is raised by a mother with mental health issues. She is not attuned to the child and numbs her pain with drugs and alcohol 2. The child learns that she cannot rely on her mother for comfort; she learns to stay out of the way and starts to care for herself 3. She develops an 'avoidant' attachment style 4. As a mother, she finds intimacy difficult and pushes her child away 5. The child develops either an avoidant or anxious attachment style 6. And the cycle continues